Musings
from the North 40
Is It Hot
or Is It Just Me? AGW, Global Warming, and the REAL Impact Humanity is Having
on Planet Earth
By A. E. Williams JUNE,
2017
The other
night, as I sat near the conveniently warming camp fire I tended, sipping my Maker’s Mark and Classic Pepsi (with sugar!), and smoking a Backwoods cheroot, I pondered the unknowable vastness of it all.
Again.
It gets to
be a bit of a habit, on clear nights, to wax philosophical, and realize the
insignificance of one’s place in the Universe.
The
elements - the brightly lit stars of the Milky Way galaxy, the buzz of the
ever-present Florida insects, the humid atmosphere that hugs you like a wet
blanket, and the smell of the cinders baking your toes - combine to form an
environment that is ripe for growth of “Deep Thoughts”.
Another sip
on the bourbon, another draw of the cheroot, and a puff of thin, gray smoke to
dispel the latest annoying gnat or mosquito from my furrowed brow.
There I
sat, in the semi-darkness, surrounded by my thoughts and the incipient threat
of imminent planetary destruction.
After all,
just that very afternoon, at 3:34pm Eastern Daylight time, the President of these United States had just
thumbed his nose at the entire world, showing it his behind as he withdrew from
the celebrated Paris Accord!
Almost
simultaneously, famous comedienne and rapacious wit Kathy Griffin was being
lambasted for her most recent tasteless stunt!
Surely, the
appearance of such ominous omens portended that the Apocalypse was nigh!
So, then, there,
in the darkness - my Kimber .45
caliber pistol strapped to my hip; the warmth of the fire added to the already
oppressive warmth of the dank Florida forest surrounding me; between the fevered cries of terrified deer,
rooted to the spot as they were illuminated by the lights of the oncoming
vehicles; the staccato chirping of the barking spiders – it was then that I
experienced an Epiphany.
I leapt
from my seat, bolting upright, so rapidly that I almost, but not quite, spilled
drops of the precious amber fluid from my crystalline goblet!
My cheroot blazed
into a searing coal from the intensity of my indrawn breath!
“Eureka!” I
shouted, wiping incandescent sparks from my Levi’s
501 blue jeans.
I had found
it!
The answer
was there, all along.
*****
Now, please
understand, that despite all the
scientific training I received over my lifetime, working on rockets and jet
engines and whatnot, performing tremendously complicated testing procedures,
programming supercomputers, fighting Nazis,
and generally occupying my time on Mother Earth with all manner of things that
most people eschew, my bullshit detector has become highly refined.
Science,
logic and mathematics are the tools on which I base most of my decisions.
But, my gut
is not to be ignored, for it has aided my quest for veracity, most ably.
For
example, to me, it’s very important to understand the personal calculus of
alcohol consumption, for example.
Or the rate
of expansion of alimony payments.
Or how to optimize
the orbit of a geosynchronous satellite to
obtain the best reception for “Blue
Bloods”, or “Two Broke Girls” in
the middle of Nowhere, Florida.
But, these
trifling challenges are merely child’s play compared to the immense complexity
of dealing with the issue of Anthropogenic
Global Warming.
*****
Having
become inured to the normal noise associated with the usual “Global
Warming/Climate Change/The End of the World as We Know It” chatter
over the years, I was perusing the Internets for more valuable content.
While
researching my latest book, I came across an interesting article.
In it, the
author posited that we could take advantage of how the Earth could be moved
further away from the Sun, our sometimes un-friendly local star, to a more
amenable place in the Solar System.
The paper postulated
that an asteroid, or series of them, might be moved from their respective
orbits, by means of robotic mass-ejection devices that would slowly but
inexorably alter their paths, through the simple laws of Newtonian physics.
These could
be set into predetermined trajectories that would come close by Earth, and the
accumulated effects would eventually cause a minor change in our own planetary
travels around Old Sol.
While I was
reading this article, I realized that, in some circles, this was being seriously
considered as some manner of ‘fixing’ the Global Warming Problem.
That was
when I decided it was high time to add my voice to this serious ongoing debate.
Because, here
was the crux of the matter.
Within this
learned, peer-reviewed and ‘scientific’ treatise lay the answer!
It had been
staring us right in our collective neo-simian faces ALL THIS TIME!
This was
the SOLUTION!
It was now
a fact that, regardless of anything we as a species might do to warm up this
beloved planet, we could just pack up and move our Home-world to a more
expedient location!
How simple!
How
elegant!
How
OBVIOUS!
Of course,
as the paper made extremely clear, these shifts in orbits are complex,
expensive, and require some intricate planetary mechanics.
They also
take a bit of time to orchestrate.
Something
on the order of a billion or so years.
*****
Being the
impatient, impertinent and arrogant bastard that I am, I then put pen to paper
(or fingertips to keys, to be more accurate) to help our belabored political
leaders understand the true nature of the threat of Anthropogenic Global
Warming.
Now, as everyone
is arguing about the degree to which humanity, Mankind, or just plain folk are
contributing to this ongoing mess, I thought it prudent to clear the whole
thing up.
Some
prominent and respected scientists, and some notorious loudmouths, all point to
their respective data sets as being the ‘hard’ evidence that this problem of
mankind-caused climate change is real.
Endless
arguments about terminology, from the nascent effects of albedo, refractive
indices and density of material, to the calculus of thermodynamic heat transfer
- and a plethora of other things that make laypeople cross their eyes, spit
through their fingers and reach for their bourbon - can be found all across the
Internet.
Just type
in “AGW” into your favorite search engine
and be prepared to be inundated by both the FAKE and REAL
versions of TRUTH.
*****
To save you
the time, I am going to elucidate the actual reasons behind AGW.
But, be
forewarned.
TRUTH is
NOT pretty.
In fact, I
am very confident that you aren’t going to like the facts…not one bit.
Because, Global
Warming IS our fault!
Just not
for the reasons you might think…
*****
The true nature
of Anthropogenic Global Warming is complicated.
Many
factors exist, each one adding a minor but noticeable amount of blame to the
human species as the prime mover.
We are the
main cause that is leading the planet ever closer to its CO2 -augmented
doom.
So, in the
interest of alarming ourselves even further, let’s look at the evidence, shall
we?
*****
Biomass of Humanity
First and
foremost, as once identified by the noted bio-alarmist Paul Ehrlich, in his book “The Population Bomb”, is the entire Biomass of Humanity.
The premise
of the book was that unfettered reproduction of the human race (with some
emphasis on what one supposes today would be referred to as “The Deplorables”), would result in
famine, localized wars and the total collapse of Civilization as we know it.
Ehrlich was almost on point.
His mistake
was in ignoring the most simple and basic physics that applied.
All those
people weigh something.
And, all
that mass means that, if it is concentrated sufficiently in localized areas,
then perturbations in the path followed by the rocky projectile we all inhabit
will induce variations in the natural orbit it pursues around our local Star.
What that
means is that, as more people are made, and eat their fill of lard and HFCS beverages,
they acquire yet more mass.
This
additional mass slows Earth down.
The results
are predictable, mathematically easy to demonstrate and ultimately fatal to our
species.
*****
Too Many People on One Hemisphere
A corollary
to the Human Biomass Diversity factor is deduced from empirical evidence
concerning population density.
People
naturally congregate in warmer climes, forming cities (more on that in a
minute), infrastructure and other structures to facilitate their fornication, further
reproducing themselves on a massive scale.
A subset of
this issue is that, in order to eat, people will also deform the natural
habitat of the planet.
Aside from
the easily identified agricultural modifications, there are the methods used
for selecting of favorable species to use in food production.
Some of
these species include cows, sheep, horses, dogs, cats and tilapia, which will provide
more localized mass concentration when farmed or raised for consumption.
Their
foodstuffs need to be shipped to that location, and all this moving of mass is
causing tremendous changes in the vibrational energies that affect the planet.
Add to this
the not-so-minor effects of methane generation produced
as a by-product of the defecation from
these living organisms, and we’ve gotten a real mess on our hands.
These
physical ‘bumps’ on the surface of the
planet create two methods of orbital disruption –
·
Density effects - an imbalance
caused by too localized dense areas
·
Streamlining effects – i.e. laminar
flow disruption of the Van Allen belts
What these effects
do is slow the Earth’s velocity, inducing drag in the vacuum of space, and
causing Earth’s orbit to subtly change.
As anyone
familiar with Physics 101 - or Hawking’s work on black holes, and specifically
singularity collapse near the Event Horizon - can easily understand, as an object slows in orbit, that orbit decays,
and it gets CLOSER to the object
around which it orbits.
Any fool
with a few spare minutes and a handful of change can easily demonstrate this
scientific concept at the local science museum (or shopping mall) where they
can test the principle with the “Coin
Vortex”.
Colloquially
known as the “Spiral Wishing Well”,
this simple device is a plastic funnel that has a coin-slot launcher into which
a rube inserts
a coin of suitable denomination.
Upon
release, the coin flies around the lip of the funnel, faster and faster, as it
descends into the convenient coin-trough at the bottom, due to the natural
force of Gravity, and the underlying and well-understood physical principles
behind coinage-maelstrom convergence.
The effect
is hypnotic, especially to younger children, the gullible and those with
altered states.
This
experiment clearly demonstrates, to all but the most dull among us. that, as our Mother Planet is slowing in its
orbit, it will become inexorably drawn into
the Sun.
Which makes
the planet WARMER.
Careful
observation of the experimental results will reveal that the coins will take
irregular paths, with no two being exactly
the same.
This will
provide the objective observer with an opportunity to understand the necessity
of critical science experiment design, which is a caveat for proper exploration
of the Natural world, using the Scientific Method.
Of course,
most ‘scientists’ will poo-poo the need for rigidly following the discipline of
the Scientific Method.
They will
eschew good experimental design, ignoring such things as control sets.
These
‘scientists’ will then neglect to use coins that are of the exact same type,
weight, denomination, density or any of the hundreds or more variables that are
required to be noted and exactly reproduced in order for proper replication to
be made.
Replication
yields verification, after all.
And the
fewer variables that actually change, the more easily the experimental results
will converge, hopefully.
This proper use of the Scientific Method, with controls
and few variations in the test objects and environment are what leads to peer
acceptance, and finally, a working understanding and theory!
*****
Isn’t
science GRAND?
*****
At times, when
conducting this particular experiment, some coins will seem to be escaping.
But, the
force of Gravity eventually sucks them all down to their inevitable resting
place in the charitable coffers of the organization lucky enough to have
figured out this simple scam…I mean scientific experiment.
The one
problem with this probable contributing factor is that of the Three-Body
Problem, but since all the mass on Earth is already here, we can probably
dispense with that as a trivial concern.
The rest is
obvious, as they say.
*****
Nuclear Weapons Testing
I know
exactly what you are thinking –
“A.E., how could
our testing of huge explosive things possibly cause global warming? The heat
generated by the most immense thermonuclear test ever, the Tsar Bomba,
is nothing compared to that generated in just a few nanoseconds by the average
Class G2V star, say, our Sun.”
And, you
are correct in your thinking.
But, that
is NOT why the Earth is suffering an increase in adverse climate activity, due
to our interference with the purity of Gaia’s spirit.
Oh, no…it’s FAR worse than a few million degrees and hundreds of thousands of tons of
steam and atomized aquatic life being instantly added to the atmosphere.
Remember
that earlier paper I’d read?
The one about
the asteroids being used to alter the orbit of Earth?
It is
obvious that theses explosive tests nudged the Earth out of orbit!
That is
exactly what happened!
Think about
this –
The effect
is very, very small, but, over time, and space, it becomes more pronounced.
Much like
the effects of a bad relationship, binge-drinking, heroin addiction and gorging
on HFCS -enhanced snack foods, the end
result never is immediately apparent.
What is
happening now is that the planet, slightly perturbed in orbit by those immense
bombs, is wobbly.
Very, VERY
slightly wobbly, but the deviation is there, nonetheless.
*****
Billionaires
Here’s a
cautionary joke for you:
Elon Musk,
Paul Allen, Jeff Bezos, Sir Richard Branson and Donald Trump all get on Air
Force One.
During the
flight, it is discovered that an Islamic Terrorist, inspired by Kathy Griffin’s
publicity stunt, and apparently secretly funded by George Soros, has managed to
get aboard.
“Mr. President! The plane is going down!”
shouts a Secret Service agent.
“But, we’ve
only got four parachutes!” yells another agent!
About that
time, someone blows up, so the only people left aboard the plane alive are Elon Musk, Paul Allen, Jeff
Bezos, Sir Richard Branson and Donald Trump.
“I’m
grabbing a chute, since I am the man who will save the Earth, using sustainable
energy and electric cars!” yells Musk.
He grabs a
chute and leaps out.
“I get a
chute because I’m a gazillionaire, and I gave the world Windows!” yells Allen.
He grabs a
chute and leaps out.
Donald Trump
pushes the other two men aside, rudely.
“I’m the
President, I’m the Smartest Man in the Free World, and I’m going to Make
America Great Again!” he shouts.
Flipping
the other two men the bird, he makes “V”
for “Victory” signs, as he launches himself out into the ever-warming
atmosphere.
Bezos and
Branson look at each other.
“You want
one of these two ‘chutes?” asks Sir Richard.
“Two?” says
the founder of Amazon.
“Quite
right, old Bean!” says Sir Richard.
“The
‘Smartest Man in the World’ just leapt off Air Force One wearing my
mountaineering backpack!” he said, smiling.
“Say, can’t
you fly this thing anyway?” asks Bezos.
“Quite
right, I dare say!” Sir Richard grins back.
*****
Air Force
One sets down later that day at Branson’s Spaceport in the Mojave Desert.
While
sipping on their drinks, (a Virgin
Mary for Sir Richard and some Amazonian
Rainforest water for Mr. Bezos), they are listening to the news.
Kathy
Griffin is on the telly, and is informing everyone that she has found a
disturbing item in her back yard.
To shocked
gasps of horror from the assembled Press corps, she holds up a decapitated
head, once again completely missing the point.
*****
So, are
billionaires evil, or what?
From the
earliest history we have, some people have managed to figure out how to come to power over others.
By threat
of violence, Divine Providence or blind luck, some of us end up on top of heaps
of cash, or whatever passes for it.
That these
people got to that heady place by exploiting other people isn’t really the point.
The other
people allowed themselves to be
exploited, right?
I mean, most
of us only want to go home and screw one
person, not everyone else on the planet?
The problem
with wealthy people isn’t about good or evil.
It’s about
hypocrisy.
*****
When most
of the major pollution creating industries in the world are owned by a relative
few (including those evil corporations), it’s easy to align the impact of this
on the ecology, by comparing the graphics representing their capital growth or
net worth with those following warming trends.
In fact,
the infamous ‘Hockey Stick’ graph about AGW can probably be superimposed over
the profit growth charts of most of these individuals, with equally incredulous
results.
For
example, Bill Gates Net Worth and the AGW chart probably coincide exactly.
Now, does
this mean we should all hate the rich and kill them off?
Hardly.
BUT –
Can we at
least agree that - in the interest of lining their pockets, making products
that have made life more bearable for almost all of humanity, creating things
that are miraculous in nature in their abilities, enriching millions with the
emergence of new markets, industrial and technological advances, finding new
methods for treating grievous wounds and apocalyptic diseases, and surmounting
near-superhuman problems - these individuals are at least A cause of Global
Warming?
These
elite, select few can jet around the world, create immense mega-projects that
attract thousands of workers who need housing, food, etc. and then build-out
the infrastructure for transporting all of these products via planes, trains
and automobiles.
The global economies
that have thrived all have been watered by gushing funds from the fiscal pumps
enabled by the owners of banks, World Organizations and other lobbyists of
special interests.
Aren’t they
-somewhat- a root cause of this
increased emission of greenhouse gases?
I thought
as much.
*****
DDT Killed the ‘Skeeters, but the
OTHER Bugs Are Now Getting in on the Action!
Why is
pesticide a man-made vector in the AGW debate, you may soberly ask?
Remember Ehrlich?
By
chemically removing major parts of the ecosystem, we have made it possible for other
parts to thrive.
Some of
these other parts are benign to us, so we allow them to thrive as they will.
Some, like
the mosquito, are terrible plagues upon Humanity and rightly deserve to be made
extinct.
But, there
is Cause and Effect at work here.
Kill off
these ‘skeeters, and the birds
that eat them no longer have a ready supply of food.
They poop
less, as a natural result.
The lack of
poop affects other parts of the food chain until we end up with the only creatures
that have adapted to living on less poop, and thrive:
As the mass
of cockroaches increases, we revisit the effects of an uncontrolled breeding of
any manner randy vermin as pointed out by Ehrlich.
We are now
at risk of, to wit, a Roachpocalyse.
And, we’ll really need nukes, should that
occur.
We’ve just
added another variable to the orbit-perturbation equation.
*****
Skyscrapers
and Elevators
Newton once
famously told the world that “For every
action there is an equal and opposite reaction”.
This is so
revolutionary an idea, that later physicists decided to make it a LAW.
As we’ve
grown as a species, many of the more lucky among us have aimed to create
lasting monuments to their own greatness, whether that was perceived or real.
The
Pyramids, Tower of Babel and other notable ziggurats throughout time have
entombed the vanity and ego of these stalwart individuals.
Later,
Mighty peoples gazed upon their greatness, and despaired.
“How can we
make a bigger, badder and more expensive monument? Then, we can point to it and
tell the yokels and commonweal that we
are better than they?” these Mighty wondered,
pausing in their beheading of the current infidel of choice.
Thus was
born the concept of that architectural abortion that is the skyscraper.
*****
Let’s go
back to Physics 101.
Remember
what happens when we’ve got all that mass concentrated in one place?
And, on top
of that, the additional variable of atmospheric drag?
Anywhere
near major cities, the path of the wind is being altered from its normal
laminar flow by those tall, pointy things, with big flat sides.
And, let’s
not even mention the infrastructure surrounding the damned things!
The
reflectivity index goes out the window when you’ve paved over Paradise and put
up a parking garage.
Or, what if
you cover a parking lot with reflective glass windshields?
How can anyone
not expect all that radiant heat to not increase the ambient air temperature by
a few degrees Celsius?
*****
Renewable
Energy
“A.E.,
you’re not seriously going to suggest that sustainability and the promise of
renewables, is a factor in the AGW equation, are you?” you ask, probably
fearing for your caramel-mocha latte.
Well, I am
not only suggesting it, I am insisting
that the fact that we go out of our way to create more methods to increase the
energy budget on this planet is one of the major factors for AGW.
The
infrastructure, manufacturing, processing of raw materials, delivery, computer
systems, electrical grid – ALL of it is made by us.
It’s
existence is evidence of our mastery of scientific principles that were just
lying around, waiting to be picked up by any sentient being with opposable
thumbs, a huge brain, the ability to adapt to a wide variety of environmental
extremes and a high tolerance for the fermented by-products of easily harvested
local grains and fruits.
A sentient
being that also enjoys staggering reproductive and biological advantages, due
to its skills at tool-making and records keeping.
So, yes, it
IS our fault.
*****
But, not as
much as it is Al Gore’s fault.
*****
Tobacco farms
Let me come
right out and state that I believe Al Gore is a genius, on par with Einstein,
Hawking and Newton, in my very humble opinion.
His losing
of an election to a man who took on the mantle of starting the next Holy War
should not embarrass nor diminish his estimable contributions to our species.
Here is a
man who went from modest roots, growing up on a tobacco farm, to becoming the
45th Vice President of the United States of America, the true
Inventor of the Internet, and a social commentator Summa Cum Laude regarding
our place on this fragile planet.
But, tobacco pesticides have been shown to be
radioactive in some cases.
Which
brings us around to those nuclear cockroaches, again.
Thanks a
lot, Al…
*****
And, on the
subject of nukes…
What the
hell, North Korea?
Are you
trying to start World War V?
*****
Warfare
Warfare is
by far the single most destructive force we have been able to unleash upon the
planet, and each other.
The
environmental effects are well-documented, and don’t need rehashing.
Besides war
being hell, and ugly, it also puts particulates into the atmosphere.
Chemical
compounds such as nitrates, sulfates and the vaporized parts of Nazis all get
mixed up and blown into the air, creating localized pollution.
And, while
that is mostly a problem for the French or English, the other side-effects of
terrible wars are felt long after the dead have been buried.
The
outgassing of the dead alone probably contributed a significant amount of
methane to the atmosphere.
What, you
think methane just goes away?
Look up clathrates,
and carbon sequestration, if you
really are thirsty and need a good jolt of booze.
*****
Shipping (Yeah,
but with Ships!)
So, as our
billionaires became wealthy on the labor of others,
they needed some way to get their wares from the slave-labor factories in China
to the eager and demanding consumers of the First World.
Ergo,
ships.
Now,
shipping is an old tradition.
So old that
it even created pirates.
Today,
ships ply the oceans, stirring up the water with their propellers.
This
agitates the surface waters, creating heat release by exposure of more surface
area of the oceans.
Heat rises,
and as it gets sucked into the atmosphere, it creates these huge tornadocanes we’ve been experiencing. Tornadocanes are heat-engines.
They take
in heat, and really mess up the oceans, until they hit land and destroy
insurance companies.
But, that’s
not all the harm to our environment that ships cause!
Thanks to
Archimedes, we have the concept of buoyancy.
Whereby, as
these heavy ships pass over the ocean floor, they have enough mass to press the
ocean out of their way, and mostly that direction is down.
This
downward pressure maybe disrupts the sea floor, and all those beds of methyl clathrate lying just underneath that mud.
Then, this releases a huge
amount of methane gas, which emerges in a giant bubble, possibly engulfing said
ship, and its Chinese trinkets, sending them to the bottom.
One might imagine that the
loss of a giant freighter full of consumable stuff is the kind of thing that
makes Jeff Bezos sad.
So sad that he and Al Gore just
might board a Gulfstream V and fly to
Seattle, Washington, to visit Paul
Allen.
Paul might then brag that he’s
built a giant version of Sir Richard Branson’s ‘White Knight’, called the
‘Stratosaur’ or
some such nonsense.
They all sit around, eating
special billionaire Foods-Which-Cannot-Be-Named-By-Poor-People-Because-They-Will-Explode,
and pondering whether Elon Musk will use this giant plane to launch his
patented Mars Missiles™ to Mars,
so he can build Pyramids there.
Elon Musk will build Pyramids
on Mars, to which Donald Trump may one day point, while giving us our final
speech, wearing a flame-proof suit as the Earth falls into the Sun, and inform us all:
“You’re FIRED!”
*****
Let’s face
it, it’s looking pretty convincing about now that Anthropogenic Global Warming
is something we should just come right out and take responsibility for, don’t
you think?
AGW is
real, all right.
And we’re
all to blame, because we like YouTube™ and nice cars.
Too bad
there’s nothing we can really do about it.
*****
Want some
bourbon and Pepsi?
As in F=ma and E=MC2 mass. Not Catholic
Mass, although some 1.6 billion of them also have that as well.
Affluent people congregate wherever the hell they
want, but apparently they want to do so in Boca Raton, Palm Springs, and Rodeo
Drive.
Of course, asteroid impacts, meteors and the
occasional derelict alien spacecraft smacking into our planet WILL add more
mass! And, that increase of mass, although slight, does indeed modify the
calculations! You see, Earth is not actually a ‘closed’ system with regards to
mass. Don’t forget that we also shed some millions of tons of mass over the
Solar year, through the loss of the top of the atmosphere, as we blast through
space at 1.5 million km/hr.
You’re just not correct in knowing how I knew exactly
what you were thinking.
Who is spinning, very, VERY slightly, in his grave!
Future investigation by Sean Hannity points to former
FBI director James Comey, assisted by the Clinton Foundation, as being in
collusion, somehow. But, there is no real evidence to substantiate this. Julian
Assange and Wikileaks remain inscrutably silent on the matter, although rumor
has it Vladmir Putin now owns Boeing.
Or bats. Whatever. I’m no expert on animal food-chain
studies.
I’ve
read papers that roaches eat radioactive matter with few ill effects, other
than a tendency to grow larger and glow bright enough so that you can read a
newspaper during New Moon in New Zealand, if you’ve allowed one or two of them
to perch on your forehead.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely adore large buildings. I’m a man, and
there is an undeniable phallic majesty intrinsic to tall structures. Hell, I
like mountains for much the same reason. And, rockets… But, I digress.
World War III was the Cold War. We are in World War IV, that George
W. Bush began, imho.
There is mounting evidence that the Bermuda Triangle has been swallowing ships because of the release
of huge bubbles of methane, released from beneath the oceans by the warming
waters, and not because of the unsubstantiated accounts of alien UFO activity
as was heretofore believed.
Have you ever considered that Pirates formed much of
the embryonic governments that are in existence today. It’s true! Maritime Law. Admiralty Law. Look it up! So, we
should have little surprise that the most successful people today are there
because of their ability to plunder the planet, and enslave the rest of us in
some fashion.
Any
NOAA trained scientist will tell you this, as well as the local weather gal.
