Release date: September 24, 2018
Subgenre: Steampunk fantasy
About Tales of Peavley Manor (Or, Macalley Gets It Together):
Alice Peavley, young heiress, had hoped life would be simple once
everything surrounded her inheritance had been settled. However, life
had other ideas, and Alice keeps running into touchy situations and
absurd adventures! From book thievery to motorcar mayhem, riding
flightless birds to outwitting mad scientists, Alice must face them
all...and will hopefully triumph with the help of her eccentric and
loyal friends, her brainy gnome valet Macalley, and a good cup of tea.
Blending comedy, steampunk, and fantasy, Tales of Peavley Manor is an
entertaining and delightful collection!
(The material in this book has been previously published in e-book format as the novelettes “Book Fair Frenzy (Or, Macalley Turns The Page)”, “The Thorn Harbour Road Rally (Or, Macalley Takes The Wheel)”, “The Missing Mallard (Or, “Duck, Macalley! Duck!”)”, and “The Rebellious Rooster (Or, Macalley Gets Cocky)”.
(The material in this book has been previously published in e-book format as the novelettes “Book Fair Frenzy (Or, Macalley Turns The Page)”, “The Thorn Harbour Road Rally (Or, Macalley Takes The Wheel)”, “The Missing Mallard (Or, “Duck, Macalley! Duck!”)”, and “The Rebellious Rooster (Or, Macalley Gets Cocky)”.
Excerpt:
from "The Missing Mallard (Or, 'Duck, Macalley! Duck!')"
“Macalley?” I said faintly.
He squinted at the pixies. “I believe that is Countess Gylburnt from Korigan County.”
My head started to reel. “What the devil is Tirnog royalty doing here?”
“She may have wanted to get away from the Fotheringay sisters.”
“One could hardly blame her.” I glanced over at Grash. “Is she registered?”
The troll looked up from his ledger. “Her and our other new arrival,” he said softly.
“Should I be worried about all these villains who are after this duck?” I asked Macalley.
“Only the ones who lose the bidding,” he replied.
The Countess surveyed the crowd. “If it isn’t Doctor Octavo,” she said with a smirk. “They’ll let anyone into these auctions, it seems.”
“Greetings, Countess!” Octavo shouted. “You’re looking quite devious this afternoon!”
“A fine compliment coming from you. I think.” She looked to the side. “Ah. Professor Argentium. Have you achieved coherence yet?”
“I would destroy you where you stand,” Argentium snapped, “had I not made a promise about the flowerbeds.”
“Gladiolas?”
“Planted this past week.”
Gylburnt nodded. “Not that the clockwork wombat you brought along is going to do much destroying anyway.”
Argentium reddened. “It’s a quokka, you cursed tree-hugger!”
“It seems oddly adorable. Does it crush your enemies by hugging them to death?”
“I’ll be glad to demonstrate. Oliver? Could you pop over here for a moment?”
Octavo swung his hand cannon towards Argentium. “I’ll give you and that brass hamster a pop!”
“Quokka!” Argentium raised a clenched fist.
I sighed and marched up to Octavo. “Doctor?” I said sweetly. “You’re here to bid on the golden duck, right?”
“Uh...yes?”
“Well, you’re welcome to…” I dropped the sweetness and smiled sharply. “Once you put that thing away. And tell your assistant to stop mocking the pixies.”
Octavo sighed and rolled his eyes. “Very well,” he muttered as he pocketed the hand cannon. Peirea scowled and ceased the nose-thumbing she had been directing at Glitterglim.
“And you—” I pointed at Argentium. “Remember your promise.”
“Fine.” He shook his head.
I marched up to Gylburnt. “Countess…”
The pixie raised an arched eyebrow. “And you are?”
“Alice Peavley. I am your host, and this is my manor.” I folded my arms. “I assume you’re also here to bid on that bloody duck. If you wish to do so, you and your assistant will not attempt any shenanigans. The other bidders, the staff, the spectators, the Quokkatron, the gladiolas, the ducks chasing the auctioneer around the grounds...they are all off limits. If you or anyone else try anything, they will lose their auction privileges.”
Gylburnt smiled. “Such spirit! When humanity is destroyed, I’ll make sure you’re among the first.”
He squinted at the pixies. “I believe that is Countess Gylburnt from Korigan County.”
My head started to reel. “What the devil is Tirnog royalty doing here?”
“She may have wanted to get away from the Fotheringay sisters.”
“One could hardly blame her.” I glanced over at Grash. “Is she registered?”
The troll looked up from his ledger. “Her and our other new arrival,” he said softly.
“Should I be worried about all these villains who are after this duck?” I asked Macalley.
“Only the ones who lose the bidding,” he replied.
The Countess surveyed the crowd. “If it isn’t Doctor Octavo,” she said with a smirk. “They’ll let anyone into these auctions, it seems.”
“Greetings, Countess!” Octavo shouted. “You’re looking quite devious this afternoon!”
“A fine compliment coming from you. I think.” She looked to the side. “Ah. Professor Argentium. Have you achieved coherence yet?”
“I would destroy you where you stand,” Argentium snapped, “had I not made a promise about the flowerbeds.”
“Gladiolas?”
“Planted this past week.”
Gylburnt nodded. “Not that the clockwork wombat you brought along is going to do much destroying anyway.”
Argentium reddened. “It’s a quokka, you cursed tree-hugger!”
“It seems oddly adorable. Does it crush your enemies by hugging them to death?”
“I’ll be glad to demonstrate. Oliver? Could you pop over here for a moment?”
Octavo swung his hand cannon towards Argentium. “I’ll give you and that brass hamster a pop!”
“Quokka!” Argentium raised a clenched fist.
I sighed and marched up to Octavo. “Doctor?” I said sweetly. “You’re here to bid on the golden duck, right?”
“Uh...yes?”
“Well, you’re welcome to…” I dropped the sweetness and smiled sharply. “Once you put that thing away. And tell your assistant to stop mocking the pixies.”
Octavo sighed and rolled his eyes. “Very well,” he muttered as he pocketed the hand cannon. Peirea scowled and ceased the nose-thumbing she had been directing at Glitterglim.
“And you—” I pointed at Argentium. “Remember your promise.”
“Fine.” He shook his head.
I marched up to Gylburnt. “Countess…”
The pixie raised an arched eyebrow. “And you are?”
“Alice Peavley. I am your host, and this is my manor.” I folded my arms. “I assume you’re also here to bid on that bloody duck. If you wish to do so, you and your assistant will not attempt any shenanigans. The other bidders, the staff, the spectators, the Quokkatron, the gladiolas, the ducks chasing the auctioneer around the grounds...they are all off limits. If you or anyone else try anything, they will lose their auction privileges.”
Gylburnt smiled. “Such spirit! When humanity is destroyed, I’ll make sure you’re among the first.”
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About Robert Dahlen:
Author bio: Fantasy novelist, all-around wisecracker and penguin
aficionado, Robert Dahlen lives in Northern California with
lots of penguins, a tablet stuffed with e-books and works in progress, a
collection of Disney Infinity figures that is growing exponentially, and a very
nice hat.. He is hopefully working on more Monkey Queen stories (and other
projects) as you read this.
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