Monday, November 1, 2021

Obviously, Aliens (Northland Speculations, Book 1) by Jennie Goloboy

 

Release date: November 1, 2021
Subgenre: Humorous Science Fiction

About Obviously, Aliens:

 

This is not how anyone expected their day to go…
What happens when Dana drinks the wrong soda on her way to Spokane? Before she knows it, she and Jay O’Toole are sharing the same body. Jay’s boyfriend, Adam, wants him back at any cost, and Dana just wants to find a new body for Jay so she can get to Spokane and pitch her new line of Doge of the Month collectibles to Rainbow Daydreams.

To do that and stop the bad guys, they’ll have to embark on a wild and hilarious road trip where they’ll meet up with a lot of aliens, the clone of Dana’s dead rock star dad, evil plumbing executives and their minions, government agents and talking corgis. Will Dana manage to get Jay out of her head, sell her Doge designs and maybe meet a decent boyfriend? Can Adam turn his skills as a thief and a hit man into a force for good and settle down with Jay and Jay’s new alien pals? Will the aliens be able to rebuild their lives on Earth? What are the corgis up to? Hop in and ride along to find the answers to these questions and more!


Excerpt:

 

He paused to think. Without taking his eyes off her, Adam slowly set the gun on the bedside table. That only made her feel a little better—a guy that confident with a gun could probably kill her with his hands.

            “What did you do to him?” Adam asked.

            “Nothing. He's right here.” She put her hand where she could feel Jay lurking inside her, a strange ball of warmth right at the solar plexus. If she paid attention, she could even pick up some of what he was feeling—a mixture of confusion and love, and for some reason, grief.

            She tried to pat her curly hair back into shape and scowled. She'd like to be more put together—she especially wished she wasn't wearing her acid green yoga pants and an old Space Invaders T-shirt—but this was as good as it was going to get. “What happened to me?”

            Adam crossed his arms. “You drank a reboot of someone else.”

            “Your boyfriend, Jay.”

            He glowered at her, refusing to confirm anything. You called him by name, dipshit.

            “Great,” she said. “How do I get him out of me?”

            A brief pause while Adam considered. “I don't know.”

            “All right, then. Who does know? Jay?”

            Adam gave her another silent, threatening stare. It was really starting to piss her off.

            “Look,” she said. “Work with me here. You really don't want to have your boyfriend sharing a body with some random woman, do you? Or was that, in fact, the plan?”

            “This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to use a cadaver.”

            “Where were you going to get the cadaver?”

            He smirked a little. “You don't want to know.”

            It was high time Dana took control of this conversation. “I don't have time for this. You can grimace at me as much as you want, but I've got to practice my pitch for tomorrow.”

            “Pitch for what?”

            “Ever hear of Rainbow Daydreams? Biggest manufacturer of contemporary memorabilia west of the Mississippi?”

            Adam looked confused. Dana opened her briefcase, and pulled out her sample. Inside the box was a plasticine Shiba Inu with an open umbrella carried crosswise in his big grinning mouth. It was probably her best work ever.

            “What the hell is that?” asked Adam.

            “It's Mr. March Doge. For my series, Doges of the Month.”

            Adam emitted a weird laugh. “You've got to be fucking kidding.”

            “Here's the deal: I have a meeting at ten o'clock tomorrow morning. They have indicated interest in making the entire series. If I don't go to this meeting, it will cost me thousands of dollars. I'm going to the meeting and I'm going to give the best pitch of my entire life. Afterwards, I'll leave with you, and we can figure out how to evict your boyfriend.” She closed the box and gently put it back in her briefcase.

            “That's not how it's going to work.”

            “Just because you have the gun?”

            “No. Because you're not going to make it that long.”

            “Is that a threat?”

            He smirked. “Not from me.” He picked up his gun from the table, examined it, and put it back in his holster. “Jay and I just quit our jobs. Our boss isn’t going to like that, so I’ve got to get something that will make him back off.”

 

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About Jennie Goloboy:


Jennie Goloboy has appeared in Apex Magazine, with a forthcoming short story in Fantasy & Science Fiction. She’s self-published a novel and shorter fiction under her pen name, Nora Fleischer. She's also written about early American history, including a monograph based on her dissertation. She lives in Minneapolis, MN, with her husband and two children, and works as a literary agent.

 

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