About A Swift Kick to the Thorax:
Excerpt:
Chapter 1
Of all the things I expected to find under a hedge on an alien world, a rabbit didn’t even make the list. Rabbits weren’t allowed. Cats and dogs were barely allowed, and that was with all the screening, breeding, and training that Earth could muster. Nothing from our planet was going to cause problems for our new trade partners.
Nothing except for this rabbit, doing its best to hide among the greenery as if it didn’t stick out like a cotton ball in a salad. It was even a fluffy Angora breed, all wispy white fur with a dark face and feet, like it was wearing a sweater. This was a high-maintenance pet. It did not belong here. Judging by the fast breathing and the whites showing around its eyes, it knew that as well as I did.
“Can you catch it?” asked one of the turtledillo children behind me. The two of them were watching from a distance, worried that it was dangerous. They had flagged me down on my way to lunch, reasoning that the best person to deal with an alien on the loose was another alien.
“I should be able to,” I said, keeping my voice gentle. “These little guys are fast, and this one looks scared. It won’t hurt you.” I shifted position to reach farther into the cool shade. No smell of rabbit pee yet, just good clean dirt. “It might bite me since I’m the one going after it, but that wouldn’t even get through your armor.”
The turtledillos (properly called Rockbacks, though Earthlings agree they resemble an armadillo-turtle cross) shifted uneasily on scaly feet, each clutching their four hands together into anxious bundles. Their turtley beaks were shut tightly on the many other questions I’m sure they had. These two were probably siblings, given the identical size, mannerisms, and similar whorls of lavender paint on their shells. I would have liked to ask their names and introduce myself properly (“Robin Bennett, human extraordinaire and Earth animal expert; what can I do for you?”), but there was a higher priority right now.
“Hey there, bunny bunny,” I cooed in English. “Let’s go somewhere safe, yeah?”
It kicked up its heels and was gone in a spray of leaves.
“Argh.” I crawled backwards out of the hedge, ducking low to keep my braid from getting stuck on the rough twigs. “Or you could make me chase you. Just what I wanted to do.” Switching back to Rockback as I stood to my full height, I asked the kids, “Can you stand by the gate and make sure it doesn’t get out?”
They vowed to guard it well, making a four-handed salute and standing as tall as they could (not even waist height on me) before scampering off toward the gate.
I wished them luck and began cheating at the hedge maze.
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About Mara Lynn Johnstone:
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