Thursday, July 4, 2019

The Unholy Trinity Series by A.E. Williams

Release date: June 20, 2019
Subgenre: Dystopian, Satire


About The Unholy Trinity Series: 

 

The Unholy Trinity Collection


Imperius Wrecks - The first in a series of satirical and humorous looks at one possible future! A nightmare or a dream - you get to decide.
In the far distant future, a nun is tasked with ancient rituals descended from one man's egotistical grasp for power and immortality. Could this really happen?

Second Coming - Jesus bets His half-brother, Lucifer that the bet God made with him regarding Job can be done, again, and better. The implications are breathtaking! Does the Big J wind up the victor? Or, does the Devil get his due?

Anno Domini - Jesus and Lucifer's betting is getting out of hand! This time, Jesus bets that the souls of the most outstanding humans ever born can redeem Mankind from original Sin. But, there's a catch! A Virgin Birth is part of the scheme, but maybe Jesus didn't think everything through?

Filled with religious references, popular concerns of the day, and a cast of totally fictional characters, this satire puts a spin on current events that will have you spitting coffee all over yourself in shock, from laughing or pure unadulterated rage. You'll be aghast at the content, the implications and the mirror held up to our world.

Come along as A.E. Williams once more pulls no punches as he slams the One Percent, Religion and Political parties of all stripes!

The Unholy Trinity series of short stories will blow your mind as only A.E. Williams can!

 

Excerpt from The Second Coming:

 

Jesus Christ lay in a chaise longue on the deck of His private yacht, the Virgin Mary, nursing His fifth Mai-Tai of the morning.
The yacht was currently moored in the Red Sea, and sat bobbing on the smooth waves. The sound of distant mortars jarred His sensibilities.

He sighed.

“Fucking Lucifer,” He mumbled, holding His head against the migraine behind His eyes.

He raised them to Heaven.

“‘Chosen People’ My puckered sphincter, Dad!” He shouted at the sky.
Jesus had awakened late, as was His habit, and immediately taken a bong hit of some primo sativa, letting the smoke draw deep into His lungs. He snickered at the thought that so many people thought weed was ‘evil,’ and contemplated the Universe, for, like, the millionth time. He mentally threw a curse at His half-brother, Lucifer, whom He knew would feel a slight twinge in His temple, because of their entangled nature. He thought the migraines were Lucifer’s way of screwing with Him in return.

But He could never prove it…

He’d played Devil’s Advocate with both sides of that argument, but could never reach a conclusion.
Damn His half-brother to Hell!
Oh, wait! Too late!

He smirked at how clever He was, being able to inject so many religious metaphors into His stream-of-consciousness thoughts, but ascribed it to the effects of the pot. 

He sighed.

Being omniscient was a real drag, sometimes. A royal pain in the ass, if He were being honest.

He stood up from His chaise, and set the Mai Tai on a bamboo table He’d known Confucius to recommend to other gurus.
Walking into the head, He urinated into the stainless-steel commode.
“Piss, Christ!” he chortled.
He shook the last few drops of holy water from His circumcised penis.

That had been a bad idea, He ruefully considered.

Jesus stripped off His robe, and walked into the shower, pausing to grab the bottle of champagne from the sterling silver ice bucket. All of the ice had melted. He took His Name in vain.

“Fuck you,” He said, to no one, as He shampooed His long, blond locks of hair. He turned off the spigots, and sat on the cold marble ledge of His shower, the water droplets dripping slowly from His body in rivulets.

Reaching to the bottle, He popped the cork. He took a swig. It was flat, and tasted like ass. Donkey, to be specific.
He poured some more past His jawbones, and gulped it down. “I really need to teach those monks how to make good wine,” He mused.

He doused His toes with the remainder, enjoying the sensation of the tiny bubbles in the wine tickling His toenails.

He sat there, eyes closed, just breathing in, and out, slowly, for a few minutes, letting the stress of the day float away from Him.

After He’d washed His feet with cold, flat Dom Perignon, He floated down from the stern of the yacht, and bathed in the waters of the Red Sea. He always enjoyed this; it reminded Him of that day with Peter, sans the stormy winds. He walked around the ship, His first Mai Tai in hand, just observing the play of light between the ship, the sea and the sky.

He sighed, and sipped.

He stood on the surface, occasionally dipping His toes into the water, scaring a random fish. He briefly thought about dividing it into a couple thousand more, and tossing a few million loaves of bread into the water, just to stir things up a bit, but realized that would be against the rules of The Wager. He stomped on the water, and the fish swam off.

He scratched His naked buttocks, frowning and farted.
“Holy winds! I’ll bet they smell that one all the way down at the Mission Basilica San Juan Capistrano!” He smiled, then immediately frowned again.

His stigmata were bothering Him this fine morning. He scratched at one, slightly. It was irksome that, after all these thousands of years, He still felt them when the weather was dry, or if He really thought about it. Sometimes, while He slept, they wept blood. 

He would take His Own name in vain, then, grabbing the red-stained sheets into handfuls of silky vestments, and shove them into the washing machines. They never were totally clean; He could detect the faint traces of His blood, even after using OxyClean. 

Once, He tried Clorox, directly on the tainted cloth, and was rewarded with something that looked like a poor copy of the ‘Shroud of Turin,’ which had Him laughing for at least five minutes. He’d had a wicked idea, and mailed it, listing the return address as Mount Sinai, to the Pope. The ensuing chaos had Him grinning for weeks.

It was rare for Him to find humor in His actions, since being immortal had made life boring and predictable, mostly. Mostly. He did find the occasional opportunity to wreak metaphysical and spiritual havoc, once in a great while, and took care to at least try to appreciate the irony.

He scratched idly at His side, and then levitated to the deck. 

He poured another drink from the pitcher He’d manifested, adjusting the tartness slightly. He sipped it, smacking His lips, His smooth-shaved face radiant in the afternoon sun.

He looked out over the waters, slowly floating around the deck, sitting in the lotus position that the Buddha had taught to Him.

“Enlightened, My Holy Ass!” He said, out loud, for the millionth time.

Jesus wept, a bit, then, missing the comforting company of His true friend and kindred spirit.

Gathering His composure, He leaned back, and enjoyed the day, mentally scheming as to how He was going to beat His brother, this time.

 

Amazon

 

Book 2: The Second Coming is free on Amazon from July 4 - July 8.

 

About A.E. Williams:



A.E. Williams has a unique background of military experience, aerospace engineering and intelligence analysis. 
Born near Pittsburgh, A.E. Williams is man of a mystery. As a young man, Williams served the United States government in various capacities, which he then followed with ten years as an outfitter. Williams finally retired and moved down to rural central Florida, where he ran a medium - sized tilapia farm. He did his writing at night, usually accompanied by a bottle of Maker's Mark bourbon and a large supply of Classic Dr. Pepper and ice.
A.E. Williams is the author of the exciting hard science fiction series Terminal Reset, which is about the effects of a mysterious force from billions of miles away from Earth that was formed millions of years ago. When The Wave strikes, everything changes! 

 

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