Sunday, January 29, 2023

Invasion of the Robot Santas by Cora Buhlert

 

Release date: December 23, 2022
Subgenre: Postapocalyptic fiction, Humorous science fiction
 

About Invasion of the Robot Santas:

 

No one ever expected the robot apocalypse to begin in the little town of Brighthaven. And no one ever expected it to involve murderous robot turkeys and their even more terrifying brethren, robot Santas that fire laserbeams from their eyes.

However, Brighthaven's finest are ready to tackle any robotic holiday menace that might come their way.

Two interlinked holiday stories of approx. 6000 words by Hugo winner Cora Buhlert

 

Excerpt:

 

The little and long-suffering town of Brighthaven had barely survived what became known as the robot turkey apocalypse — random attacks by murderous robotic turkeys of unknown origin — and was hoping for a quiet holiday season.

And indeed, for about a week, things did remain quiet. The robot turkeys had finally been vanquished by the combined efforts of the Brighthaven fire brigade and the National Guard, so the people of Brighthaven could celebrate Thanksgiving in peace. Though it was notable that hardly any family in Brighthaven served turkey for Thanksgiving that year. Instead, people had fried chicken, roast ham, pork chops, steaks, tacos, pizza, smoked salmon, macaroni and cheese, beef Wellington, lobster Newburg, duck a l’orange or just skipped the main course altogether in favour of the side dishes.

Meanwhile, turkeys — not the robotic kind, but fat, plump, deep-frozen flesh and blood turkeys — were filling up the freezer cabinets in the Fresh & Fast store and Benson’s All-Organic Supermarket and just wouldn’t sell, no matter how deeply discounted. The wounds were still too fresh, quite literally in many cases.

But otherwise, everything was well. After Thanksgiving came Black Friday and the people of Brighthaven flocked to Clearvalley Mall and the Buy More big box store to do their holiday shopping. Though once again, it was notable that robots of any kind, whether they were vacuum cleaners, lawnmowers or toys, just didn’t sell. The wounds were still too fresh.

On Monday, the Christmas lights went up all over town, while snow began to fall in thick, fluffy flakes. And the people of Brighthaven sighed in contentment and cuddled up with a mug of coffee, cocoa or tea to read a book or watch a movie. Yes, it had been a difficult year, but now the holiday season was here and all would be well, the murderous robot turkeys no more than a bad memory.

Until it happened again…

This time around, the first victim was not a local, but a trucker named Jimmy James Delmont. He was driving his forty ton truck along Highway 29, fully loaded with a cargo of Christmas trees, when all of a sudden the fir trees lining the side of the road began to rustle and shudder, shedding their load of snow.

Jimmy James Delmont hit the brakes, expecting a deer or maybe even a moose to emerge from the woods. But what emerged instead was a horror like none Jimmy James Delmont had ever seen. It was a robotic Santa Claus and then another and another and finally a whole army of them. They emerged from the woods and blocked the highway. As one, they swivelled their heads, turning towards Jimmy James Delmont’s truck. They opened their mouths and emitted a hollow metallic “Ho, ho, ho”. Their eyes glowed red and then they fired, fired laserbeams out of their eyes at the hapless Jimmy James and his trusty truck.

 

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About Cora Buhlert:

Cora Buhlert was born and bred in North Germany, where she still lives today – after time spent in London, Singapore, Rotterdam and Mississippi. Cora holds an MA degree in English from the University of Bremen and is currently working towards her PhD. 

Cora has been writing, since she was a teenager, and has published stories, articles and poetry in various international magazines. She is the author of the Silencer series of pulp style thrillers, the Shattered Empire space opera series, the In Love and War science fiction romance series, the Helen Shepherd Mysteries and plenty of standalone stories in multiple genres.

When Cora is not writing, she works as a translator and teacher. She also runs the Speculative Fiction Showcase and the Indie Crime Scene and contributes to the Hugo-nominated fanzine Galactic Journey. Cora is the winner of the 2022 Hugo Award for Best Fan Writer and the 2021 Space Cowboy Award.

 

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